


In a different light

by onlypartialfucks



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Feelings Realization, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Not Beta Read, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Promise this won't be too long
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-12 20:07:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29390292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onlypartialfucks/pseuds/onlypartialfucks
Summary: It wasn't jealousy. It definitely wasn't one of those "I don't want him, but I don't want anyone else to have him" things either. He didn't want "what he couldn't have". It was just that, until he'd walked into the room, and announced that he was dating someone, he just hadn't ever thought about Remus in a romantic, or sexual, context of any sort.Sirius was fucked.(Or: in which Remus gets a boyfriend and Sirius realizes he has feelings for him)
Relationships: Remus Lupin/Original Male Character(s), Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	In a different light

## 

Chapter 1

It wasn't jealousy. It definitely wasn't one of those "I don't want him, but I don't want anyone else to have him" things either. He didn't want "what he couldn't have". It was just that, until he'd walked into the room, and announced that he was dating someone, he just hadn't ever thought about Remus in a romantic, or sexual, context of any sort. He'd assumed his friend wasn't interested in those sorts of relationships, being that he'd never expressed any kind of attraction towards anyone.  
While Sirius, James and Peter had been talking about people they'd fancied for years, be it that they wanted to date, snog or shag someone, or just appreciate them aesthetically, Remus never participated in those conversations. It couldn't have been because he liked men, Sirius himself had recounted his adventures with several boys multiple times now, and none of their friends had ever expressed any sort of discomfort or judgement towards him.  
Whatever may be the reason, this had led to Sirius never even considering the possibility of Remus in a romantic relationship. He loved his friend, he loved all his friends, but Remus held a special place in his heart (different to the "brother" corner James occupied since he'd taken him in, into his home and his family, when Sirius' had rejected him). Until now, Remus was just that, his best friend, who he loved, who he had never considered in a romantic way. Until now.

…

Sirius wasn't the only one who was surprised when Remus suddenly showed up with a boyfriend.

Remus walked into the common room on a late Saturday afternoon, after spending most of the day studying in the library (or so his friends had assumed). He made his way to the corner closest to the fireplace, where they all were.  
Sirius was laying on a couch, big enough for two, socked feet up, his muddy boots on the floor next to him, and a closed book in his hand. He was watching Peter and James, who were playing chess next to him, sitting on the floor, each on opposite sides of a small table. The game seemed to be about to end, another victory for Peter, neither boy particularly interested in the expected outcome.

"Hey," Remus greeted, lifting Sirius' legs, sitting on the couch and letting them fall back over his own. Peter and James mumbled something that resembled a greeting, not taking their eyes off the board.  
"Did you finish the Transfiguration essay?," Sirius asked, sending him a small warm smile. Before Remus could answer, he chuckled, "of course you did, all bloody day in the library."  
Remus hesitated. He promised himself he was going to tell them this weekend, and Sirius had provided him with the perfect opportunity to do so. The common room was fairly empty, providing him with both some privacy and the chance to make a quick escape back through the portrait hole in case things went south. "Well.. actually," he took a deep breath, "I wasn't at the library."  
This got his friends' attention, maybe the fact that he had spent all day out somewhere that wasn't his usual place surprised them, or maybe it was the way his voice wavered a little. Or a lot. He was nervous.  
"Where were you?," James asked, concern flashing behind his eyes. It wasn't easy to make Remus nervous, much less while talking to them. "Is everything okay?"  
"Yeah, it's not… it's nothing bad." He was doing it. He was telling them. "It's good. I was with Richard Harrel. All day."  
Sirius and James exchanged a look, confused.  
"Why?" Sirius asked.  
"Because he's my boyfriend," Remus answered.  
Now, as far as awkward silences went, this wasn't so bad. Three slacked jaws was better than three disgusted faces, right? Eventually, he couldn't take it anymore, and spoke again, "We've been dating for a couple of weeks." More silence. "Well, officially, we started seeing each other around Halloween."  
Remus was starting to get scared, "um, guys? Please say something."  
Peter was the first one to speak up, "Halloween!? But that was months ago!" his voice quickly drowned out by the others' screams, all along the same line.

Eventually, once the shock had passed, Remus explained everything more calmly. He had started talking to Richard a few days before Halloween, when he asked for Remus' help transfiguring some clothes for his costume, and continued talking (and eventually, doing everything but) for the next months, until Richard finally asked him to be his official boyfriend. After two weeks of official dating, Remus decided it was time to tell his best mates.

"I should have known he was just trying to get in my pants back then, everyone knows I'm shit at transfiguration," he joked, once he'd finished telling the story. They all laughed.  
"Don't get me wrong, mate, I'm really happy for you," James spoke, a big smile on his face, "but why did it take you so long to tell us about him? It's been," he lifted a few fingers, counting, then gave up, shouting "months!". Peter and Sirius nodded, looking at him waiting for an answer.  
"I know, I know, I should've told you when we made it official, I don't know why I was so nervous," he smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.  
"You should've told us when it started," Sirius intervened, "it's a big deal!".  
"Well, not really, back then it wasn't really serious," Remus continued, laughing lightly, "surely you don't want me to tell you about all the guys I mess around with."  
Now, that really shocked his friends.  
"What do you mean 'all the guys'? You've dated other people?" James looked equally amazed and offended, "and you didn't tell us?"  
Remus looked at his three friends, all with different levels of shock, amazement and confusion showing on their faces.  
"Well, yeah?" Remus felt himself blush, "I wouldn't say 'dated', though, just… you know, fooled around. Rich is my first actual boyfriend." He looked down, not being able to hold James' gaze.  
Remus felt a hand on his shoulder, and looked up, finding Sirius smiling at him reassuringly, "It's fine mate, if you wanted to keep it private it's your business." Remus relaxed visibly. "We're just a bit surprised." He looked at the other two boys, who nodded enthusiastically in agreement. "You've never talked about fancying anyone, much less fucking 'fooling around' with them!"  
"I don't know, it wasn't on purpose, I guess I'm not much for sharing my horniness with the world, like you lot," he joked, trying to lighten the mood. "I really thought you knew, did you not notice the times I spent most of the day without any of you? Or Lily? Or did you think I was studying the whole time?"  
His friends looked at each other, then back at him, shrugged, and all four boys started laughing.  
"Well, now that we've found out that our Moony is a sex beast on the weekends, as well as a fury one once a month", James sent Remus a wink, "we have to meet the boyfriend!" Then, in a quick whisper he added, "and we'll want all the sordid details from lovers past a present, of course, you've been holding out on us." 

…

It was two weeks after Remus' announcement, that Sirius finally accepted it. He was in love with Remus Lupin. It wasn't a new thing, he realized after the many sleepless nights since that day he'd spent thinking about the boy. He'd known for years that he loved him, of course, but now that Remus had turned into someone who could be thought of as a "boyfriend" and "lover", well, Sirius realized that's what he wanted. Always had.  
Before, Sirius thought he had all Remus could and wanted to give, and he gave it all in return: friendship, platonic love, companionship, hours spent laughing and crying and plotting and sleeping (because sometimes after an afternoon of lounging in Remus' bed, his was too far away, and the floor was too cold, and his werewolf friend was always just a bit warmer than the average human). But now he knew his friend did want other things, and did have more to give, and well, he wanted that too. Because he loved his Moony, and he was in love with him, and wanted to make him happy and to be happy with him, in all the ways he could.

Of course, this was a problem. First of all, Remus had a boyfriend. One with whom he seemed to be very much in love, judging by the way he looked at him, and the way he talked about him, (on the rare occasions he did, because his friend was still quite private about his relationship), and the many times Remus had come back to their room from an afternoon out looking positively ruffled in a way that could only point to one specific activity (really, how had they not noticed before?).  
The second issue was a bit more important, in his opinion. Remus Lupin was his friend. One of his best mates. He could never risk losing that relationship, no matter what. Sirius had woken up as Padfoot next to a cold, shaking and sore Remus after a full moon too many times, pressing against him to try and find some warmth and comfort. Remus had held him while he cried through the night after a particularly horrible letter from his parents too many times. They could cheer each other up in ways their other friends never could. What they had was special, Sirius knew that. Wanting more didn't mean what he had wasn't enough. I had to be enough, because it made him happy. It had been enough for 5 years now and nothing had to change.  
So the plan was to continue his life, ignoring his newly discovered, although not newly acquired, feelings for his best friend. His best friend with whom he spent most of his time. With whom he shared a level of physical intimacy perhaps not usual for a pair of teenagers who were just friends, but that was just normal for them. It wasn't different from what he had with James.  
Well, at least until now it wasn't.  
Sirius was fucked.

**Author's Note:**

> I'll post the next chapter soon!  
> Please let me know if notice anything that needs to be corrected (typos and stuff)  
> Thanks for reading, this is my first fic and I hope you enjoy it!


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